Over Thinking
by Bassoonistx3
Summary: Over Thinking by Relient K, a songfic about Jacob and all that is between him and his dream come true...


I thought back to that day… The day that had changed everything.

"You can do better than this, Bella," I whispered. "You're overthinking it." But as I leant down and ran my mouth over her earlobe, I knew that I was conscious of the fact that I, too, was overthinking this. I wanted her; wanted her more than my will to live, that I was sure of…

_I was thinking, over thinking  
Cause there's just many scenarios  
To analyze, look in my eyes  
Cause your my dream please come true  
I was thinking, over thinking  
About exactly how i'm not exactly him  
I'll break my heart in two  
More times than you could ever do  
Cause your my dream please come true_

The urge inside me, this insistence, for her to realize she loved me too… It was pushing into the forefront. I wouldn't be able to hold it back much longer. She shivered at my touch and I told her to feel what she feel's… Just this once…

_Cause i think way too much  
On a one track mind  
And your so out of touch  
Cause i'm so far behind  
_

Finally, finally… She kissed me back. Suddenly I knew that she wouldn't rather be in the arms of anyone else's than mine. It was still there though, her resistance. Her doubts were tangible, much the same as her realization.

_I can't deny this any more  
The facts ignored all done before  
And if there's one in this world  
You let me know you're not that girl_

Now I lay here in bed, thoughts of her filling my head. I had lost her… Though my hold had never been tight, I had held on as long as it was humanly possible for me. There was little use in playing tug-of-war with someone who had capabilities beyond that of my humanity. Losing her… I couldn't bear the idea. I couldn't hold back the shaking in my body as I buried my head in my hands and tried to push these thoughts away. Our life together, our love, what we could _be_. Just the two of us…

_I was sinking, lower sinking  
Cause i lost the things i held on to  
They let me think a thought  
A thought that i would know was not  
Of seeing my dream come true  
I was thinking, over thinking  
About how far i had let this go  
One more guy/girl cliche  
I know now you're just in the way  
Of me and my dream come true  
_

She had visited me today. I had held her. As much pain as I was in, it hurt more to see hers. I lied to her, telling her it would all be alright. That it would work out. Maybe it would, for her. For me, I'm sure it's not the same. I had breathed her in that one last time, and now her glorious aroma was quickly disappearing through the door that she had left.

_Cause i think way too much  
On a one track mind  
And your so out of touch  
Cause i'm so far behind  
I'm trying to make sense  
Out of all of this  
While your fading scent  
Just slips through my grip_

I couldn't blame Bella. I never would. Whether she liked it or not, it was Edward that was to blame. He was the negative to my positive, and all three of us, Bella, Edward and I, knew it. Neither Edward nor I would be happy while the other was. I knew that I never should have gotten involved. But some things can't be avoided.

_Don't touch the positive with a negative end  
Don't touch the positive with a negative end  
Cause after all of the sparks you're left alone in the dark  
Cause after all of the sparks you're left alone in the dark  
And while i'm able i think i'll label  
Experience with you as a mistake  
And while i'm at it, i'll say i've had it  
Experience with you as a mistake_

I ran, maximizing the distance between us, leaving her farther and farther behind. Even as the foliage tore up beneath my pounding strides, my thoughts were no longer with me. They were with Bella, where they would always stay. I could try to pull them back to me, but instead it just left me leaving them farther and farther behind.

_Cause i think way too much  
On a one track mind  
And your so out of touch  
Cause i'm so far behind  
_

_  
I'm trying to make sense  
Out of all of this  
While your fading scent  
Just slips through my grip  
_

_  
I was thinking, over thinking  
Cause there's just too many scenarios  
To think about, to figure out  
If you're my dream please come true_


End file.
